


Arthur Being Scared Because Merlin Is Sad

by comic_history_magic_nerd



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Depressed Merlin (Merlin), Hopeful Ending, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Immortal Merlin (Merlin), M/M, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Pre-Slash, Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Arthur, Sad, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25684903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comic_history_magic_nerd/pseuds/comic_history_magic_nerd
Summary: Two weeks ago Merlin found out he's immortal. A stray druid in the woods told him another piece of the prophecy; that he is destined to walk to the earth for eternity, waiting for The Once and Future King so return. That he is destined to watch everyone he loves wither away and die. Leaving him to watch the world change for however long it survives.Or: Merlin has been moping around because he found out he's immortal and Arthur is worried. After waiting for two weeks for Merlin to return to normal, Arthur finally decides to confront him.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 441





	Arthur Being Scared Because Merlin Is Sad

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine this would take place shortly before Uther dies, when Arthur is basically running the kingdom for him in season 4. 
> 
> More notes at the end.

Arthur woke to the sound of soft bangs and clangs throughout his bedroom. He slowly opened his eyes just in time to see a lanky, shadowy figure by the window ripping open the curtains, letting in the morning light.

“Merlin!” Arthur all but shrieked as he winced away from the offending light, his eyes slamming shut.

“Morning sire.” Merling mumbled.

Arthur gave a disappointed sigh. A few weeks ago he would have given anything to not have Merlin shouting obnoxiously cheerful phrases in the morning. To not see his stupid, proud smile while he tortured Arthur out of bed. 

Arthur eased open one eye. He could see Merlin busying himself by the wardrobe, no doubt picking out Arthur’s clothes for the day. The prince slowly sat up, studying his manservant, noticing the slouch in his shoulders, the way his nostrils flared slightly and the edges of his mouth turned down a bit, and his eyes; Merlin’s eyes seemed so far away, even as he looked over Arthur’s red tunic, taking it off the hanger and setting it over the privacy screen. Merlin’s eyes were more distraught and hollow then Arthur had ever seen them. 

The prince hopped out of bed, hesitating a bit before sitting down at the table where Merlin had laid out his breakfast. 

“Merlin,” Arthur called before he could even register what he was doing. His breath caught in his throat, he could hear Merlin’s non-committal hum in response to his call. This was it. He couldn’t stand the tension anymore. He hated seeing Merlin so unhappy. He needed to do something. “Merlin, come sit for a second.”

How was his voice so steady and decisive when his head was nothing but a chaotic swirl of, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what are you doing? Fuck fuck fuck!

Merlin slowly approached, stopping a short distance from the table.

“I said sit, you idiot.” Arthur lightly commanded, casually waving his hand at the chair next to him. But there was nothing casual about this. Arthur was terrified. He knew this talk, that he was about to try and have, to try and force, was not going to be easy. But he couldn’t take it anymore. He had waited two weeks for Merlin to come to him, but it was getting ridiculous now.

Merlin pulled out the chair and sat at the edge of it. He seemed so skittish, so hesitant, but his eyes were still so distant. Arthur wondered what he did to cause this. A million things ran through his head, the same scenarios that have been circling through for the past two weeks.

“Merlin, I’m – I don’t – um,” Arthur’s head fell into his hands in defeat. When he looked up again he finally seemed to have Merlin’s attention. His dark brow was pinched together and his eyes worryingly trained on Arthur. 

The Prince felt his shoulders release a little of the tension they’ve been holding for days. Seeing Merlin so present, even if it’s out of fear or concern, was still a comfort. 

“Sire, what’s wrong?” Merlin leaned in.

“What’s wrong?” Arthur was chuckled darkly. Merlin was asking him what was wrong. “Merlin, nothing is wrong with me, it’s you I’m worried about you absolute idiot.” The name calling might have been unnecessary, but Arthur was just so exasperated by the younger man. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t be sorry! Just – you know you can talk to me, right? I know I’m the king, and I know I joke that you’re just a servant, but Merlin, I put up with your incompetence for a reason. You’re the truest friend I have.” 

The shock and discomfort was clear on Merlin’s face. He sat back into his chair, his jaw flapping a bit as he tried to find words.

“Arthur, I’m confused.” He eventually whispered. He looked up into Arthur’s face feeling the need to reassure his friend. “I know all this, I promise, and I consider you a friend as well, why do you think I wouldn’t? Has something happened?”

“Yes!” They were talking in circles now and Arthur was growing frustrated. He cursed his own inability to put feelings into words, and Merlin’s inability to understand what Arthur was thinking.

“Merlin, for the last two weeks you’ve been so sullen and quiet.” Arthur drew in a deep breath. His eyes trained at his hands. He could do this. He could do it for Merlin. “I’m worried about you. I don’t know how to fix it, I don’t know how to make it better. 

“I asked all the knights if they saw someone mistreat you, and I asked Gwen if I had done something wrong. I even asked Gaius if he knew anything, knowing he would never betray your trust, but he just said to give you time! We’re all worried, Merlin. The knights ask me every morning at training if you’re alright yet. Gwen has been begging me to talk to you, but I was trying to give you time like Gaius said. It’s like you’re not even here, you’re somewhere lost in your mind and I can’t find you and it’s scaring me! So, please! You need to tell me what’s wrong so I can help!”

Arthur was breathing heavy by the end of his tangent. He had been holding back so much, he hadn’t even noticed the words tumbling from his mouth. Then Merlin gave a soft sob and his eyes snapped up to his friend’s face. He was frozen, focused on the tears spilling over dark lashes and Merlin using the rough edge of his tunic to quickly wipe them away.

“I’m sorry, sire.” His voice trembling. “I – well I guess I’ve been kind of out of it. I didn’t realize anyone noticed – I’m sorry, I promise nothing is wrong. I’ll be back to normal shortly, sire.”

That was not what Arthur wanted to hear. 

“Merlin, something is clearly wrong, you’ve been sulking for weeks –”

“I’m not sulking, I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not fine!” Arthur snapped. “Merlin, you can trust me. Please just tell me what’s wrong. I can help or just be there, just let me understand what’s happening, please!”

For the second time that morning Prince Arthur was all but begging his friend to let him in. Merlin looked off to the side, trying to come up with an excuse, or piece together what he could tell his friend, or stall, or make an escape plan, he honestly wasn’t sure.

“I got some news two weeks ago.” He spoke slowly, carefully monitoring his own words, scared that he might let too much tumble out. 

“Is it your mother? Is she okay?”

“Yes, my mother is fine. It’s – I can’t tell you exactly what it is, but please know that there is no imminent danger and there’s nothing for you to fix. I just need time to process, to figure out what it means for me.”

“Why can’t you tell me?” Arthur was growing frustrated again. “You can trust me, Merlin.”

“Arthur…” He was tearing up again. Because he wanted so badly to tell Arthur, to trust him completely, but he wasn’t ready to give up his secrets. Part of Merlin hoped, or maybe even knew, that Arthur would protect him even if he knew about his magic, but the other part was so scared. Scared of losing his friend, scared of having to leave Camelot, scared of Arthur not being able to protect him from Uther, scared his friend would hate him for all the lies and betrayal.

“Arthur, it’s personal. You have to believe me that there is nothing you can do.” Merlin grasped for the right words to appease his friends curiosity and concern., but the look on Arthur’s face let him know he wasn’t having it. “It’s just – hypothetically, what if you found out your future was not what you thought it would be?”

“What do you mean? Like the future of Camelot? If something were to happen?”

“No, not quit... more like you thought you would get to live and–,” Merlin takes a shuddered breath, “live and die alongside your friends and family. And now you found out that they would leave you and you would need to go on without them. And you don’t know that you can, but you don’t have a choice.”

Arthur reaches forward, grabbing Merlin’s hands in his own as his friend sobs once again.

This was it, this is what Merlin was afraid would happen.

“Merlin, please, I’m so confused.” Arthur sounds rather desperate now, his voice raw with the aching fear building steadily in his throat. “I’m not going anywhere, neither is Gaius, or Gwen, half my knights are more loyal to you than to me or the King, you said your Mother is in good health! No one is leaving you!”

Merlin shuddered yet again and Arthur stood, gathering his friend in his arms. All the battles they’ve fought side by side, all the hardships they’ve faced, Arthur has never seen Merlin this upset. 

“Merlin who told you this. Who said this to you? They’re wrong, please you have to believe they’re wrong.”

“They’re not though.” Merlin pulled back and looked into Arthur's eyes with a piercing and haunted stare. “Arthur, don’t ask questions, if you trust me or have ever trusted me then don’t ask how or why. You, the knights, Gwen and Gaius, and my Mother, you will all age and die. You will all leave this world eventually as all things are meant to, but I won’t. I will be stuck here without you! And I hate it!”

Merlin was too distraught to realize what just came out of his mouth, but for Arthur, everything suddenly fell into place. 

Merlin and his mysterious secrets, his dumb luck and bravery that bordered on outright stupidity. Arthur had been ignoring the obvious for a long time, willing it to go away, but that clearly wasn’t an option anymore. He knew Merlin had magic, but he could never bring himself to care and he trusted the man regardless.

“Merlin… is this because of your magic?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth Merlin was ripping himself away. Forcing himself backwards and across the room, away from Arthur.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Merlin sounded so desperate and panicked, slurring the words as they rushed out of his mouth.

Arthur merely rolled his eyes, exasperated once again. “Merlin, even if you weren’t horrible at keeping secrets, you just told me you’re immortal!” 

“That’s not – I didn’t – I said hypothetically!”

“Merlin! It’s okay!” Taking easy steps towards his trembling friend. It made him sick to see his friend so terrified of him. “Merlin, I think I’ve known for a while. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, I won’t force you, but it’s okay. Please believe that it’s okay.”

Merlin fell apart once more, mumbling apologies as he fell into Arthur’s chest.

Arthur knew everything wasn’t okay. He knew that Merlin might never be the same again. That his eyes might always be haunted with the knowledge that he may never get to rest. And he knew that he had a lot of difficult talks with Merlin in the near future. 

But in that moment, Arthur promised himself then that as long as he was alive, Merlin would have someone to share his burdens with.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic so please take pity on me. 
> 
> I was inspired by a Tumblr prompt, my obsession with Arthurian legends, and the way the BBC cheated us out of Merthur. 
> 
> I wrote and published this in one sitting so there are bound to be grammar (and maybe continuity) errors.


End file.
